Catherine Tuerk
The way
Catherine Tuerk describes it, 1989 was going to be the year her dreams died.
The Washington, D.C., activist has been dedicated to the cause since 1989, when her son came out in his final year in college. At the time, she knew nothing about what it meant to be gay, to come out, or to be the parent of a gay child. Despite always being aware that Joshua was “different,” even putting him through four years of psychoanalysis to try and change his gender-nonconforming interest in “girly things,” the news was not something Tuerk and her husband, Jon, were prepared to hear, or handle. “We were devastated,” she recalls. “We went to bed and cried all night. We felt like it was over, like our son was dead.” Following Jewish tradition, she says, she allowed herself a full year to grieve, mourning the life she believed Joshua would never have — loving relationships, marriage, children. “I grieved, and I read. I lived in a fog of discovery … searching to understand my new son and his world.”
As it turns out, Tuerk, like so many other moms and dads before her, dusted herself off and began an improbable journey to become one of the most respected gay Jewish activists in the country. And now, the author of "Mom Knows: Love, Gay Pride, and Taking Action" will be speaking at Congregation Sha’ar Zahav, 290 Dolores St. in San Francisco this Tuesday at 7PM to discuss her journey and teach others - and not just those of the Jewish faith - lessons in understanding one's own fears about dealing with a child who is homosexual, bisexual, transgender or gender-non-conforming.
(If this interests you, I would strongly encourage you to read "Prayers For Bobby" by Leroy F Aarons which chronicles the story of another mother, Mary Griffith, who went on a similar journey after learning her son was gay but who was brought to enlightment after a tragic incident.)
© 2012, Victor Hoff. All rights reserved. Menofcolor.blogs.com