First things first: Congratulations to gay porn performer Conner Habib for getting his article "Rest stop confidential" published on Salon.com. It's a major accomplishment for a writer, let alone for one sucks dick professionally, and regardless of where you fall on the rest-stop-sex approval spectrum, it's noteworthy if for no other reason than it's a nice change from most of the tawdry news that gay porn stars seem to generate for themselves (murder, domestic violence, shitty performances on bad reality tv).
In fact, the piece, a first-person retelling of one man's predilection for public sexual adventurism, generated quite a heated response from Salon readers; everything from if-me-and-my-son-ever-catch-you-you're-dead to men-will-be-men. One reader who identifies himself as 'reader reader' seemed strangely fixated on how the story was vetted?! Show me the sperm samples!
But whether you agree or not, whether Conner's article speaks to you, as it were, I more interested in how he told it. After all, Conner is a writer and, as such, should be judged as one. If, say, gay porn performer Mason Wyler were writing an essay called, "I'll Say or Do Anything To Keep The Public Focused On Me," than my expectations would be appropriately calibrated.
But I happened to enjoy it. Conner is no Norman Mailer but neither am I. In fact, No one is Norman Mailer except Norman Mailer. But there's a sweetness to Conner's writing that bypasses the deeper implications of what he's actually saying:
"Sometimes men go to rest areas because there’s nowhere else to go. My college town and my hometown were surrounded by thick lines of trees and post-industrial abandoned factories. There was no way to meet anyone, or if there was, it felt forced, somehow. Maybe I could go on dates with a few guys who were out like me, but I didn’t really want to go on dates, so it would’ve been dishonest. The straight students were going to parties and hooking up, making out on the green, having sex in dorms. The gay guys had to do what they could, wherever they could find it. Making out drunkenly with straight also-drunk frat boys, sex in the library with townies, trips to the nearest big city: either do those things or sit with your sexual feelings, like many of us had our entire lives. All that energy and nowhere to put it, no one to share it with."
For men of a certain age and certain background, rest areas were - and very much still are - a normal part of the homosexual socialization process. It may send out out all the wrong signals in some quarters - queers are dirty, we'll break the law because we can't control ourselves, gay men have no self-respect - but in a hesitant sexual culture like ours, for better or worse, rest stops provide, as Conner correctly notes, the mutual understanding and quiet acceptance of two men who are, "stepping out of their lives."
Kudos to Mr. Habib on a job well-done. I look forward to more.
© 2012, Victor Hoff. All rights reserved. Menofcolor.blogs.com